A 2-PAGE COMMERCIAL PARODY -- "Coor's Light"

INT. BEDROOM -- WOODEN CABIN -- ROCKY MOUNTAINS -- DAWN

A group of young adults, all gorgeous and wearing full faces of makeup, are sleeping beneath their fur blankets and plaid duvets. CHAD, a model out of Abercrombie, sits up and looks out the window. Nothing but fresh, thick, white snow. In the misty distance, mountains loom large. He looks over at a beautiful woman in an adjacent room, CAITLYN, red eyed and staring out the window. She sniffs and wipes away a tear.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

(gruff, deep)

Coors Light is born in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains with a cold, crisp taste as fresh as overnight powder, to inspire you for what’s next.

Chad smiles. As he leaps out of bed, we HEAR upbeat Indie Rock music and transition to ...

EXT. SKI LODGE -- ROCKY MOUNTAINS -- EARLY MORNING

Chad and his friends stand around a fire-pit, fully dressed, holding their boards in one hand and, with the other, accept Coors from Chad.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

Coors Light isn’t only delivered cold, it’s filtered cold, brewed cold, and bottled as cold as the icy morning air on the slopes, designed to bring people together.

He offers one to Caitlyn, but she declines, raising her hands to show skis in one, and ski polls in the other. The boarders laugh at her, but Chad isn’t like that. He’s a Coors Light man. So he opens a can and puts it to her lips. She laughs, then sips.

EXT. ROCKY MOUNTAINS -- VARIOUS -- DAY

Caitlyn and her friends follow Chad as he shreds through knee-deep powder and around pine trees.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

Coors Light is Mother Nature in a can. But like nature, Coors Light can be wild and unpredictable.

Chad turns around to check on his friends and SLAMS into a tree.

All goes black.

Then the music turns sad and melodramatic, like “My Immortal” by Evanescence, and we dissolve onto Chad’s bruised face and broken body, splayed and contorted.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

Coors Lights is so cold it will also cool the burning soul of a broken heart.

We pull out as a screaming Caitlyn is held back by her friends. Medics and ski patrollers perform CPR on Chad. He coughs up blood.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

But Coors Light also pays it’s respects.

INT. CHURCH -- DAY

An open wake. Christian choral music sets the somber mood. Chad’s friends pay their respects by shotgunning a Coors, crushing the can, and placing it in Chad’s hands. Caitlyn is last. She opens a can of Coors, but Chad’s hands are all full.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

Coors Light. Nature’s most refreshing beer for all of life’s most memorably moments.

She smiles through her tears and presses the can to Chad’s lips. The fizz dribbles down his chin.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

Please drink responsibly.

Blackout.

Rafi AbramowitzComment